In which I am Victorious (and Annoying)

Dear reader(s), I am loathe to confess that I have lied to you. When I told you that my computer was in the mail, I had the purest of intents. Little did I know that The Stanford Bookstore had other plans. Far from putting my order (which was in stock, I will have you know) right into a box and on its way to me, they had hoarded it jealously in their lairs. When it failed to appear by Wednesday, when it was expected, I feared that something was amiss, and I began to systematically harrass the poor employees of the abovementioned establishment. At first, I was forced to content myself with talking to the machine. "Sales Floor," quoth it, "Is NOT available." After a day of this, it was clear that the sales floor was NEVER going to be available. When I insisted on speaking to a live person (day two, call ten), I was told that my package hadn't shipped, and in fact, didn't seem to exist. Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that it was FINALLY shipped yesterday and will be here MOnday, or so help me god I will have someone's head on a platter. Now all I have to do is harass UPS to see if they'll let me pick it up somewhere before 5:30 on Monday. Impatient much? Aw hell yes. Most sincerely yours, Mary (Who will have her computer on monday, or there will be hell to pay.)